AOL

Remember 10 years ago when people used AOL to get online? HA. Well AOL, fortunately for us you got dominated in the internet race and now pretty much noone has to rely on your F minus product. That era is long and gone. Oh, and I ran into Google and Yahoo about 5 min ago sitting in a hot-boxed car in the parking lot. They'd just rolled you up and smoked you.

Air Tran

Ok, so X-Fares is actually a pretty sweet deal. When you qualify for it (Never). You have to fit the following requirements: you are between the ages of 19 and 19 1/2, you're flying from Albequerque to Eugene, on a Wednesday morning, and you don't mind squeezing your fat ass into their record-smallest airline seats. AirTrash, I mean AirTran, is a company whose product is just large flying pieces of shit. We advise you instead to hitchhike across the country with a gay trucker, because it would be a much more enjoyable experience. Garbarrassing.

Mattel

They can play it off like it's China's fault that millions of children had their toys taken away by parents. Stupid fucking assholes. Parents didn't just take away what was recalled, they were afraid EVERYTHING had lead paint. There's already a problem of teenage shootings in this country - do you have any idea how many fucked up angry teens we'll have now? These kids are growing up without toys! This is so god-damn garbarrassing. On top of that, Mattel-Minus is suing Scrabulous for providing the world with hours of enjoyment during the work week. We say Fuck 'em. Fuck them in their stupid asses.

Boost Mobile

The first time a commercial aired for their product, the entire world lost braincells. The last time we checked, a walkie-talkie is actually a serious downgrade from a CELLPHONE. And if someone ever calls our office and says Yo Dawg, where you at?....they will be killed. By Us.

Under Armor

Respect to Under Armor for being able to make guys think spandex is not gay. They must have some kind of insane mind-warping geniuses behind their marketing. Unfortunately, when we look around the gym, all we see is Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay! Until they inform the public that every item is indeed an UNDER-garmet, Under Armor is a complete garbarrassment to our society.

Mazda

For making the Miata, and allowing men to purchase it. That is all.

Comments (1)

Kmart... what crap

Seriously, how is Kmart not on this list. I went to my local Kmart and I felt like I was in an episode of OZ. Not to mention, instead of having stuff people actually want to buy they have total crap in already opened boxes littering there shelves. If you want to ask an employee where something is... just don't. Because a) they won't have a clue and b) they probably don't actually work there, they probably just robbed someone of there Kmart attire. Seriously, Kmart is like WalMart's ugly ass busted cousin, what garbarrassment.

#1 - King Crab - 03/14/2008 - 09:48

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